Hello?
by Potkanka
Summary: Loki is burdened with a glorious purpose and a wife who is upset he didn't call her for years.


My first fic ever on FFN. I wish it were something more sophisticated and less OOC, but oh well.

Why does Loki have a cell-phone? And how can it work inter-realm? I don't know, does it matter?

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel. Well, there's a mythology reference too...

* * *

„Hello?

Sigyn? Darling, how did you know-

Right, Heimdall...

No, no, I did not forget-

I could not-

Will you let me finish one sentence?! … I am sorry darling, I did not want to shout. … Darling? Are you still there?

I really could not-

No, there was no signal in the Void.

Yes, I tried.

Not now, there something I must do on Midgard.

I am – I am sorry darling, just wait a bit longer, alright?

It is really import-

Yes-

No, I-

Of course I love-

This-

Dar-

I do not-

_Brzztch_... I am sorry, I think I'm losing ..._tchtz_... you. _Bzrrtch_... sewers, you know, bad ..._tshrrr_... signal. Bye!"

* * *

"Hello?

Oh, hi, darling, how are you?

I did not! It was the bad signal...

Yes, I am out now. But this is not the right ti-

I told you there was something I have to do-

Please, just listen to me for a moment...

I will carry out my plan, then we will have time for a chat.

A few days at most.

It is not that long...

I am sorry, it is time. There is one man whose eye I need to catch-

Not like that-

No, I swear!

Gotta go, bye!"

* * *

"Hello?

Ah, I guess I have some time now...

The noise? One stupid oaf and one irritating armored mortal seem to be fighting for me in a forest.

No, not-

Why is this the first thing you think about?

What? I _am_ faithful to you!

_Now_ you bring up Svadilfari? You know what happened back then-

Yes, I assure you.

Oh, a third warrior joined them.

Well, he does not look _bad_, exactly...

Then do not ask me! Anyway, I am going to get arrested now, can you not call me in the next day or so..."

* * *

"Well, you managed to not call for about three hours, I guess we can call it a success.

I am sorry, I am sorry I did not mean to-

I might just be a little irritated at the moment-

No, it is not because of you! I could not be angry with you.

It was a woman. Very clever for a mortal.

...You are not going to ask me how she looked?

What do you mean only men?! I – I was a _mare_ at the time, a _female_ horse! It was not-

I swear I am not cheating on you.

Huh?

Ah, nothing, actually. There are not many things to do in this... glass... cage... thing.

This... is not the right moment nor place.

I know I said I had time but-

But-

I am not talking about what I went through in the Void on a cell-phone!

I am sorry, I am just so stressed lately...

Uh-oh, sorry, talk to you later-

No-

I have to hide the phone before they confiscate it!

Yes. Thank you. Bye."

* * *

"Hello?

Of course they did not, you are talking to me now, are you not?

As I said, I hid it.

It is of no importance...

Did you call just to ask me about my phone?

I am not unpleasant!

I am sorry. Please forgive me.

Things are going well, my plan is slowly coming into fruition, the portal will soon be open...

Ah, I will explain that later.

Yes. By the way, what do you think about the two of us ruling a whole realm?

What do you mean-

No I-

I know it is a bit sudden-

No, I _did not_ have time to consult you before agreeing to it!

Darling? You still there? … Darling? … I am sorry, please talk to me-

Of course I want you to talk to me! You are my wife, I love you-

Proof?... I will compensate you for my years of absence once we are together again, deal?

Midgard, I guess-

No, I-

Alright, I will visit you on Asgard-

Yes, after-

Yes, we will discuss it-

Yes, darling.

Oh, the metal man is coming, I have to go.

I do not know, I did not see him without his armor yet.

Is it so important?

I already told you, I am faithful to you, and these are my enemies-

What do you mean, 'it never stopped you before'?

Alright, I really have to go now."

* * *

"HELLO?

IT IS HARD TO HEAR YOU, TALK LOUDER PLEASE.

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BATTLE, DARLING. CAN WE TALK LATER?

IT IS-

WHAT?

YES, I DID SEE HIM WITHOUT THE ARMOR...

I GUESS HE DID LOOK GOOD ENOUGH-

NO! AND I AM NOT ANSWERING THESE QUESTIONS ANYMORE!

I AM NOT ANGRY WITH YOU!

I SHOUT BECAUSE I CAN HARDLY HEAR MYSELF. BATTLE, REMEMBER?

I DO NOT KNOW, IT MIGHT TAKE A FEW HOURS.

YES, I WILL CALL YOU WHEN I WIN.

THE ARCHER IS AIMING AT ME, I HAVE TO GO.

JUST A MORTAL, DO NOT WORRY.

I WILL. BYE."

* * *

_cnt talk, stop callin me_

_ps: be home soon_

* * *

**A/N:**

**Was it clear enough where Loki was and at which point of time? I hope so.**

**And just to be sure, yes, the last part was an SMS.**

**Review please?**


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